Fairy Dust and Curses

 

 

Her voice used to sound like a finely tuned violin

Violent strips of Rachmaninov that we used to try and chose all night

Those strings came up unmatched when she would laugh

 

It always amazed me how easily beauty came to her

as if she kept it in her back pocket

A little packet of fairy dust that she would

sprinkle over herself when nobody was watching

 

Except I knew

 

Those mischievous eyes

That could melt me like wax

as you held me over thin air

 

Your commands would resound a sonnet in me

I was

yoursyoursyours

 

I would echo the words as if

it was the only thing I could remember

You are the only thing I could remember

 

A sanctuary

My pillar

 

Only to now be swallowed like

waves that lap up the shore

Promises of a broken tomorrow

 

You don’t know what love is

You hear over the static in your own ears

The coiling in your belly tells you

it’s not true

That’s not true

 

Like we never used to trace the words

with our lips each and every night

 

Laughing in that spot on the couch

Turned into sleepless nights

in that same seat still smelling your scent

Still seeing your obsidian hair

breeze past me

 

Tides of black and bergamot

Traces of lavender

that no longer calm me

but make me crave

ache

 

The morsel of freedom that you have given me

tastes of sin

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